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Saturday, January 30, 2010

GRE: My Alphabet Book for Grad Students by Patrice Rasmussen, M.Ed. Copyright 2010

Letter I

I had an inveterate habit of invoking irascible people with irksome habits. The truth is I am really an introvert. Constantly introspective and intrinsically prone to insularity. There are some who say that insinuate that I may be insolent and pretentious; however the truth is I am trying to overcome insurmountable and insuperable innate qualities that give me a inhibiting fear and intrinsic shyness. This is really amazing to some people as they look at me and think I am an extrovert. However, I impute my dichotomous or truly mercurial nature as having formed from a coping mechanism to avoid being hurt by others with an impervious wall of will to protect my fragile artistic soul.

Therefore with this incognito defense of an extrovert actress; I have pulled out of my hat manyt different roles that would protect my inner sacred and secret self. Therefore at times the role may be incompatible and lacked incongruity with others views of me; however the important thing is that I know who I am.

Inclined always towards a inner feeling of impuissance I have learned over the years to believe in myself and to pursue an incessant search for truth and a self actualized existance purported by Maslow. Truly, I implore everyone to use this impetus of self-actualization as a goal for your life. It is imperative that idiosyncrasies of personality don't take us away from our true self. Often our true self may have idyllic fantasies that ignite a spark of hope that may lead us with an illusive quality that is imbued with impending doom. However, it is difficult to live a life of total immutable and impalpable goals of being "good." The self-examined life is the only life worth living. It is unfortunate that so many inane goals provide the pathway away from the journey towards self understanding. Fortunately, at some point in your life your inner self will implode into your consiousness and force you to face yourself with your souls implacable need to find truth. There are many who live lives of impiety and impropriety without ever feeling anything. They just keep on living life in the material realm as if God didn't exist.

I know that God does exist. I believe that everything else besides God should be inconsequential however this goal incidentally is impossible for the human being. Most of us are concerned with our material world and how we are going to make a living, pay our mortgage and buy incidental possessions that are inanimate and implicate us as focusing on the world.

It is true that sometimes life is just so frustrating that we become indulgent and even induce others to inequity in terms of our possessions. When you look at the people who have to live in foreign countries with not enough money for clothes, food or proper shelter, it is only then that we see our iniquitous and injurious incorribible materialism is actually selfish. I long to live a life of altruistic service to others, however as of yet I have not been able to do this. I love the work of Sergiovanni, who indites often regarding the great leader being a "servant leader"(Sergiovanni, 2007, p. 7) We must give up our own selfish interests and look towards others needs. Similarly, it is our job as instructional leaders to inculcate and work indefatigably to incorporate this "servant leader" stance into our otherwise ego-centric vision of ourselves.

I am sure you have an inkling of what I am referring to when I say that narcissistic traits are injurious to the soul and are just plain inimical and inhibit true growth of your soul and spirit. We are not infidels but rather we profess to "take up the cross of Jesus," yet often we want to take up that cross with diamonds and fashionable clothes. This of course, is an inflated position and many are infallible in their Christian lives. It is just shocking when Christians may profess a love of God and humanity yet seem indifferent to the indigence and indigent beings that may be sitting at the tube stop in London, England and just walk by them as if their poverty and lives of sorrow do not matter.

Fortunately, it was these very situations of observing poverty in London, England everyday while I lived there and everyday seeing the same poor souls starving and even sitting in puddles in the rain asking for money. It broke my heart and in many ways my spirit and that is when I gave up singing Opera. Opera really seems like such an indulgent profession. I felt sick as I travelled to lessons knowing that there were people whose inimitable sorrow could not be put out of my mind. Even the dogs on the street in Clapham Common were ignored and the inim ical and ingrained way that people just walked on by the indigent creatures tore at my heart.

It is ineffable how viewing such poverty incurs an incumbent obligation to put your thoughts on a more altruistic profession such as teaching. I did feel like I was travelling an inevitable and fighting an inexorable urge to live a life of altruism even though the my artistic soul kept crying for life as an Opera singer.

In conclusion it is only indissoluble mark that Christ has stamped on my soul that I could not be one of those people who just walked on by the poor. The inequity and indices of a sick society that allows its own people to starve and sit in puddles of rain water with their chilren. Often in London England,many people view the poor or starving as if they are insidious. I was often told not to help them as they would potentially harm me. Really? Yes even one of my family members said this to me that they could rob you if you give them money.
I am sorry but it is our duty as Christians to intervene in situations where another human being is suffering. You cannot just walk by starving people and think about yourself. It isn't right.

Furthermore, it is ironic that when you yourself lose your job or fortune that you expect others to save you. The hypocritical nature of the human being is at times the inverse of what so many philistines purport to live out in their daily existence. I invoke you to look inside and ask what would you do if you saw a mother and child sitting in a puddle of rainwater asking for money in London. Would you keep on going to your 60 pound coaching or singing lesson or would you stop and give a pound to allow the woman to feed her child.

I must leave the letter "i" with some irrefutable and irreconcilable ideas that seem to be intrinsic in human nature.
I pray that I stay irreproachable of these hideous crimes of selfishness that seem part of the core of humanity.

Avoir "I", I must talk to J.

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